Managing a Work/Life and Home School Balance.

Broken and disturbed sleep makes mother cranky and Boy intolerable. Every time stepfather goes away on business, Boy’s insomnia increases. I appreciate that it is the changed routine and increased anxiety about stepfather’s safety but gee it’s hard to manage and find balance: to work and to home school when we’ve both had minimal sleep.

On the eve of stepfather’s return, Boy slept well. Maybe the medication is beginning to work or perhaps Boy has some comfort in knowing step dad will be safely home tonight. Regardless, Boy awoke in a happy mood ready to go to the movies and complete his Tuesday movie review. Problem!

I have a mini training booked today for a local foster care agency. Without another adult home to stay with Boy, he has to come to the training on Life Story Work with me. This is not unusual for my children. They have often assisted me in the facilitation of my training programs and they loan real examples of how effective child focused tools are.

Boy has decided that he really does not want to come, he wants to go to the movies: he wants to do his schoolwork just as he is supposed to do. The problem is that the movie he wants to see is on at times overlapping with the mid day training I am facilitating and then again in the late afternoon. Following the training, I have a client: right at the time of the next movie screening. I can’t cancel the training at last minute so what to do???

When we undertook home schooling, we did it because it was the best thing for Boy, not for us. We agreed that Boy’s special needs took priority and that his education was of huge value. I knew that my workload (and income) would be cut by half (we school in the mornings and I see clients in the afternoon).

Going back to these original decisions on why we home school, the answer to “what to do” became very clear. I rescheduled my afternoon client so that I can take Boy to the movies and help him with a movie review. That is my most important job.

I require the income from employment because I carry sexually transmitted debt from a previous marriage. However, as a compromise, I now work part time counseling and consulting from home and I am surrounded by a terrific support network to help with Boy’s needs. On the days when my support network is unavailable, Boy, not work, remains my top priority. Debt will always be there, Boy will not.

My actions have not only prevented a potential Aspergers melt down but have also shown Boy that he has value, worth and that compromise can bring around a win/win situation.

How do you manage to balance home schooling with earning a living?

Join the Carnival of Family Life.

The 44th edition of the Carnival of Family Life is up at Be A Good Dad. They included three articles from me: one from each of my blog sites.

There's a few home school posts in the current edition of the Carnival of Family Life so do check them out and consider posting to the carnival next week over at Adventures in the 100 Acre Wood. Stephanie at 100 acres is a home schooler.

Here's a recent article I wrote (at my Child Protection blog) about Carnivals: How to Attract Site Traffic to Child Protection or Sexual Abuse Blogs.

Mentors, Bowling, Fishing and Dragons.

Studies of Society and Environment - Socialisation: Boy has finally been matched with a mentor and they enjoyed their first activity over the weekend: bowling. The picture is of Boy bowling over the Christmas holidays. He loves bowling (is 200% better than me) but has been unable to bowl since he damaged his foot.

Boy also loves on-line games and one of the reasons he was matched with this particular mentor was because of the mentors interest and expertise in gaming. The mentor plays a game called War Hammer 40, 000 Dawn of War Dark Crusade. So….guess what Boy has now purchased with his pocket money!!! A strategy game, Boy’s aspergers egocentrism will be pushed to consider the tactics and moves of others. This fits in beautifully with our rich task focus of “understanding another person’s position.”

Although the mentor is both a gamer and blog keeper, both he and Boy opted to engage in a mentoring activity that neither of them knows a lot about: fishing. We’re pleased to have Boy away from the computer for two hours per fortnight and to re-engage him with outdoor activities that he used to thoroughly enjoy. His leg has been so sore for so long now that he has done little more than sit at the laptop.

Mentoring is a structured friendship. Both mentor and mentee enter a contracted mutually agreeable activity, frame worked with aims and a final presentation of their chosen activity. Boy and his mentor have undertaken to:

• Report on fishing


• Have Boy teach the mentor how to fish


• Catch something.

At the six-month celebration ending the mentoring friendship, Boy and mentor will present a log of their fishing and what they learned.

Spelling: Step-dad had worked out a list of spelling associated with the Math activity they undertook on Friday. However, step-dad has flown off to the Never Never (Aussie slanguage for the outback) for work and I cannot find the list. Using the wedding reading as a basis for new words, I just picked ten words that Boy may or may not be able to spell: dragon, Knight, shining, armour, damsel, distress, consuming, confronted, reflection, assistance. Well done to Boy, he achieved 50% correct spelling words this morning.

Reading: Boy flatly refused to read the little wedding reading this morning. He told me he doesn’t think he wants to read in front of wedding guests because he might get it all wrong. Despite my cajoling, support, understanding and encouragement he refused to budge his position and I refused to get into an argument over it. As a compromise, Boy read a page from Eragon. At least it was Dragon related and covered some of the words on this weeks spelling list.

Health and Physical Education: Boy attends the youth group again this afternoon where they focus on anger management and self-esteem. Because social skills are a required part of Boy's learning and integration into a world that fails to understand people with Aspergers, we have no difficult in counting group time and mentoring activities as home school hours.

Home Schoolers are Research Associates in Child Development and Human Relations

The following piece of serendipity came to me on email - original source unknown:

A woman named Emily renewing her driver's licence at the Transport office was asked by the clerk to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the clerk, "do you have a job, or are you just a ......? "

"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a Mum."

"We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation...... 'housewife' covers it," said the clerk emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our local police station. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it, I do not know... The words simply popped out. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire!

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing programme of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole family), and already have three credits, (all sons). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree.?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the girl's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

When I got home, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -ages 4 and 2.

Upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model, (a 10 month old baby), in the child-development programme, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I had triumphed over bureaucracy!

And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mum."

Motherhood.....What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations," and great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates"??? I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

Marching Down the Isle – Home School Wedding Preparation

We’re getting married this month (March 31). Boy is just as excited as we are. To ensure that I can maintain our home school learning AND get all the wedding tasks completed in a timely manner, I am capitalizing on Boy’s natural wedding interest by incorporating wedding tasks into home school.

Reading: Boy will be reading at our wedding. This is a huge thing for him to do. He HATES having to read aloud and sometimes struggles with pronouncing words. However, Boy rather fancies Dragons, Myths and Fables so guess what he’s willing to read at our wedding. By choosing something that he has a natural affinity to, I aim to encourage his reading progression and to lessen anxiety around public reading at our wedding. In true Asperger’s obsessive tendencies, we will be daily reading the following story from Michael Leunig so that Boy gets to know it almost by rote.

Once there was a damsel in distress.

She had become a bit of a dragon and it was consuming her.

A knight in shining armour confronted the damsel, and, seeing her reflection in his shiny breastplate, she realised what a dragon she had become, and she didn't like it.

In earnest she set about getting the dragon where it belonged and making sense of it.

"You have saved me", she cried, "Take off your armour that I may kiss you in gratitude".

"The removal of armour requires assistance", responded the knight.

So, together they removed the heavy armour and the damsel embraced him warmly. The knight had never been so warmly touched. He felt immense relief. He felt lighter; less weary; more free.

"That's how I feel too!" cried the damsel joyfully, and after some healthy, passionate kisses they had some healthy, passionate children.

They kept the dragon and the armour , which were useful from time to time; and generally speaking, in their own funny way, they lived quite happily ever after.

Spelling: We’re still on the list of Egyptian associated spellings and today was the test day for the whole list; not just the ones that Boy has got wrong during the week. Congratulations to Boy: he got 9 out of 10.

SOSE Time Planning: Boy and I had a rather large clash over this. He considers that time planning is too hard and takes too long!!!! Ummmmm…I had to bite my tongue several times during his Asperger’s melt down. The lesson I had planned did not even get started. I wanted Boy to turn an exercise book into his own diary and start blocking out project time, including time for working on fun wedding stuff. Best I could get from him was a Wedding advent calendar (made from the FREE home school resources available at Home School Mom) and a list of tasks to be completed in the next week.

Writing: “I’m not writing anything,” he wailed. “Fine. I’m not putting up with this behaviour any longer,” was my truthful response. “Don’t write the jobs down. Get the white board and jot them there so I can then write them down.” So, without realizing that whiteboard work is writing, Boy happily listed tasks as I spoke them. Beautiful.

Math: Step Dad and boy are off to the shops to do some budget shopping with Boy’s pocket money. Apparently, Step Dad has a Math framework around the trip. I look forward to seeing the write up to keep as a home school entry (hint, hint, step dad).

Thank goodness it's Friday: I'm tired so Boy must be exhausted. Have a GREAT weekend everybody and stay safe.

Extra. Extra: Read All About It. Carnival of Home Schooling #61

BREAKING NEWS: In this weeks Carnival of Home Schooling, Homeschool Cafe serves rich latte with educational flavor and wins international award for social understanding.

Australian home schooler, Megan Bayliss, stated that Homeschool Cafe baked the best slice of home school life she had tasted in a while. She said that she awarded the prize for social understanding because of the creative way the cafe mixed the contributed ingredients. "The presentation provides an immediate 'news of difference' for home schooled kids to aspire toward," Ms Bayliss offered.

Ms Bayliss also said she'd be back for more tastes of Home School News and encouraged others to use the Carnival of Home Schooling #61 for their own professional development.

Photo courtesy of those clever Mississippi Moms at the Homeschool Cafe.

Media Statement: New Standards for Queensland Teachers

The following media statement has given me some points to reflect on as a home school teacher. In particular, the required standard of professional development. I often wonder if I am doing the best that I can. Should I be pushing my child more? Should I be giving stamps and stickers as they do in class rooms? Should I be taking classes in core subjects so that I'm on top of current learning and teaching trends? I'm keen to hear from other home schoolers to find out how you contribute to your own professional development as a home school teacher.

Minister for Education and Training and Minister for the Arts

The Honourable Rod Welford

01/03/2007

NEW STANDARDS FOR QUEENSLAND TEACHERS

New professional standards for Queensland teachers have been released as part of the State Government's comprehensive reforms of teacher registration.

Minister for Education and Training, Rod Welford, said the standards outlined the abilities, knowledge and professional values expected of teachers in Queensland schools.

"These reforms are part of our major overhaul of teacher registration and respond to the needs of a modern education system," Mr Welford said

"They have been developed by the new Queensland College of Teachers, which our Government established in 2006 to oversee changes to teacher registration.

"Teachers now have to renew their registration every five years. To gain renewal, they will have to show they've maintained their professional skills through ongoing professional education and recent teaching experience.

"These new professional standards will provide the benchmark for the profession in Queensland and give teachers a common framework to examine and renew their practice.

"They will be used to test first-time teachers in their application for provisional registration and full registration, as well as supporting preservice teacher education programs.

"They capture the essence of teachers' work - its complexity and diversity - as teachers manage the learning and teaching process for individuals and groups of students.

"Importantly, they provide a means to demonstrate to parents, school communities, and the public the knowledge, skills and abilities required by teachers in our schools today."

The standards are based around the three areas of teaching and learning, relationships with students, families and colleagues, and professional development.

The standards were developed in consultation with Queensland teachers and key stakeholders. Teachers can view the Professional Standards for Queensland Teachers from the Queensland College of Teachers website.

Copies of the standards will be sent to Queensland schools and registered teachers at the beginning of next term.

Media contact: Greg Milne or Marnie Stitz on 32371000

End of Media Statement.

How do home school parents ensure their professional development? What home school conferences are available? I would love to attend some.