How To Be A PERFECT Mother

Let me begin by qualifying that I am not a perfect mother nor am I sure how to get there. I do however know that I have a perfectly wonderful son who thinks I am perfect (and now I've got it in writing from him!).

A friend sent me an email containing some anecdotal research done with second grade children. I found the questions so interesting that I decided to turn them into a writing and reading review home school lesson.

I told Boy that there were some answers from other kids but that I wouldn't show him until after he had answered the questions himself. Boy's written answers, unprompted by or discussed with me, almost made me cry. Just so as there's no mistake that this is indeed Boy's work, I have attached a scan of the first page of the review worksheet I made from the questions.

Below are the questions and answers as came to me on email. The email had no information about the origin of the questions so I am unable to offer credit sorry. I have included Boy's answers as the last response to each question. Just remember that children with Aspergers are literal. It is possible that he was unable to understand the essence of the questions he has answered with ???

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

BOY. To take care.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

BOY. ???

What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Boy. ???

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

Boy. ???

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

Boy. ???

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Boy. That he was an idiot.

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Boy. (Note from mother: Not ever a question mark here. It's obviously still a sensitive topic with Boy.)

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

Boy. God

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

Boy. Mum's a girl.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

Boy. Looks on her email.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

Boy. My Mum is perfect!!!

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Boy. Nothing.

I was blown away by Boy's last two answers. Moved emotionally like never before, I now know that at least what I have been doing with Boy is appreciated and that he doesn't hate me.

Below is a picture of Boy and I on a recent snorkeling trip on the Great Barrier Reef.